shamechamber | Harleys all the way down

[On Thursday, Crane decided the meager offerings in the asylum library needed reorganizing. One hour later, he was reading a book whilst some impressionable patient was doing the work.

It did not occur to him that others might have a problem.]

Hey! Where's The Pirate's Private Booty? I was in the middle of that one!

I have no idea. Have you tried looking under your chair?

Yes.

[ No. ]

You know the library isn't yours, right?

It is mine by virtue of occupation; I am conserving it for future generations.

[Squatters rights!]

[huh weird so the sex ban in camp lifted. cool cool cool

not that this means anything to him no sir

he's just gonna hang in the public showers to avoid the noise i guess]

[You know the funny thing about sex suddenly being on the table again is a girl gotta FRESHEN UP. And as usual, half the showers are out of order for sinister reasons.]

Well! Isn't this a funny little coincidence!

[Dropped the soap whoops.]

Harley! What are you doing here?!

That's a silly question. This is a shower, isn't it? What else would I be doing here?

-- Oh, lemme get that for ya.

[She'll just helpfully bend down and pick that soap up for him. After she finishes stripping down. No clothes. In the nude. Naked.]

You can't just--!

[choking noise]

Harley! You can't be here!

[God, he's trying to look away, but. Yep. He's watching her do that. And his cheeks get so red, it's kinda great.]

There must be some manner of private baths! Go there!

When did you become king of the showers? You use a private bath if you hate my company so much, geez.

[You know the thing about handing something, a bar of soap for example, to someone is you have to get close to them? Maybe ... very close?

Maybe much closer than strictly necessary.]

It's just--you should be more--just give me the soap.

[Listen, his body is starting to get affected, so he's trying REALLY HARD (haha, hard) to look anywhere where that problem isn't going to get worse. Just focus on the soap, Daniel.

He reaches for it. Gimme. Ignore the half-boner. IGNORE IT.]

[No sir, she absolutely will not ignore a boner of any state.]

I like me exactly as I am, Danny, so don't bother telling me what or how I "should". And you can look, you know. You can do a lot more than look, too.

[Ohhhh noooo, how clumsy, this time she dropped the soap. What a definite accident and not at all calculated move so she can sink to her knees in front of him.]

Are you a virgin?

[Hands him his precious soap.]

[NOO NOT THE SOAP. But even he can detect the calculation in this action, Harley, and he is so distracted that he almost answers that question, then promptly shuts his mouth.]

That's none of your business. You truly intend to carry on with this, then?

[He sounds put out, but Harley being that close to his boner? Perks it right up. At least somebody's happy to see her.]

Well, you seem plenty interested to me. [Hello, Little Daniel.]

If you don't want it, then I won't do anything. But are you sure you aren't too hung up on the shoulds and not what you really want?

[She stands back up and turns on the shower next to his with a shrug.]

Just something to think about.

I...It's really not the time or place for that.

[Oh no. Now that Harley's not in his personal space he kind of...misses it. And he keeps glancing at her washing up.]

These showers once rained blood. I shudder to think of getting caught up in that again.

Edited (Not dramatic enough) 2018-08-13 03:14 (UTC)

That's pretty weird dirty talk. Taking it kind of literally.

[Every time he glances over, she is openly watching him. Hey boy hey]

What's a better time and place? I have a private room. Another something to think about.

But if you wait too long I don't promise there won't be someone else in my bed. Or on the desk. On the floor. Against the wall, maybe.

Edited 2018-08-13 03:18 (UTC)

[Okay, he can infer what that means, and excuse you.]

I meant that completely literally! You know what this place is like! I've had it happen without warning--it was horrible.

[He looks askance at her when she mentions a room--a private room, no less. But his expression quickly sours, and he turns away with a huff. Though the, uh, colorful way she puts it has him fidgeting slightly.]

You would replace me so easily? I should've known.

[Damn, drama queen much?]

You think I'm gonna sit and pine for a guy who can't decide if his manners will let him fuck me? I like you alright but I'm horny now and I've got a lot of catching up to do. Don't try and put your hangups on me.

[He is. Yes.]

They're not hangups! I am bathing.

[Sniff. He's going to pretend he's totally focused on that for a moment.]

...I don't believe I know where your cabin is, however.

Yeah, bathing naked, like a total slut.

I live in the hospital. Aaaallll alone. Where I can be as loud as I want.

[He awkwardly washes up.]

I...I'll remember that.

[LATER, IN THE HOSPITAL, Daniel's there just low-key looking for her. Yeah.]

[Harley is all tarted up and on her way out to find a man when she runs into him.]

Danny! What perfect timing!

[She takes his arm and leads him back to her room.]

[Just in time!]

Ah, there you are--

[He barely has a chance to see her whole look before he lets her grab him and whisk him away, but uh wow. That's quite the outfit.

But once he's in her room he totally looks around and pretends he's not staring at it.]

[She immediately presses into his personal space, putting her hands on his hips.]

I can't wait to hear your totally innocent excuse for being here. Or are you finally done pretending?

Erm. I.

[well now he feels put on the spot. Quick, think of something]

...I require a check up.

[yes, really]

You know I'm not that kind of doctor.

[Okay, he can keep playing coy if that's what he wants, and she can go ahead and start taking off his pants.]

But I can still give you an exhaustive physical.

Very...well...

[Yeah, at this point he's stopped pretending not to look at her, and even steps out of his trousers as she gets them off! How helpful.

Little Daniel is perking up too. Hi nice lady.]

[Ooooh mommy, she can't wait to get a mouthful of that Danieltaste(tm).

But first, they should get him flying at full mast. She gentle grips his dick. Her kiss is not even a little gentle.]

[Never say that to him out loud, he will die. He'll die, and the loopy letters that appear every time he croaks will say: Don't date the clown girl. Or something.

But she didn't do that, so he'll just grunt awkwardly and kiss her back, trying to match that intensity. His dick twitches with interest and quickly grows harder in her hand.]

[Now that he has finally, uh, come around to the idea, she ends the kiss with a bite.]

I'm gonna blow your brains out.

[She sinks to her knees and gobbles that dick right up.]

[He yelps at that bite, and is about to tell her off, but then:]

Ghk--!

[He actually tries to struggle away at first, but eventually he just groans helplessly and gapes at her.]

[His struggle stops her and she looks up at him confused.]

Whf--?

[Hm, better try that again without a full mouth.]

What's wrong?

[Harley that's diiiiirty]

That's, well...it's not exactly...

[oh my god spit it out]

...I-I wasn't prepared for you to do that! It's not exactly...commonplace. Where I come from.

[No joke, Daniel's read some Reefer Madness bullshit about a couple who did a blowie and then their lives fell apart, it was pretty buckwild. Old timey sex is buckwild.]

You never got your dick sucked before?

[She looks confused, then pouts.]

You're about to get stuck on propriety again. Can we at least finish doing "bad" things before you start scolding me for it?

[She licks his cock before he can talk himself out of this.]

Edited 2019-08-20 16:44 (UTC)

Are you still here?

Edited 2018-08-25 18:49 (UTC)

BIIIITCH WHERE U AT

[well, that answers that]

Groundhog Coffee off First and Maple.

cool omw get me a cold brew

[ When she gets there, no matter what seats he has found and who else is there, she sits right on his lap and gives him a kiss on the cheek. ]

You totally missed your window. I've moved on to a different emotionally unavailable old man. This one eats people!

[he figured.

When she arrives he has her drink, and has been nursing his own. And while he startles initially because HARLEY, he calms down after a second because

Harley ~~pls~~.]

And yet you still found time to say hello.

[gentle pushshove off his lap kthx people are staring]

[ Oh, did he forget she is a champion level clinger? Shut up and be a chair and like it. ]

I'll always find time for you, baby.

[harleY PLS]

And your cold brew?

[he got u ur coffee doesn't that mean he gets sOMETHING]

Oh, just pour it right on my tits!

[ THERE, THAT'S WHAT HE GETS ]

[......................................]

Is that why you asked for it cold instead of hot.

You can pour hot coffee on my tits if you'd rather, but I didn't think you were into scalding. Ain't it nice how we can still surprise each other?

[ She gives him another big ol' smooch and moves to a chair. ]

I'm not in to pouring things, period. [Just gonna rub his cheek with a slight blush. She's never going to lose her ability to fluster him, is she.]

Anything interesting happen while I was gone?

Ohh, well... There's an evil organization shooting nukes from Mars and a world eating goddess so the apocalypse is coming, probably. So that's cool.

Harleys all the way down

the library

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[shows up 1 year late with starbucks, on a different account, like nothing happened]

Return of the dumpster fire

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please forgive the lack of icons

No, you will forever live with your sins

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