[ they had docked at one of the nopon guilds, at the edge of the cloud sea. far away from indol and any other occupied titans to notice. they were still collecting data and maps from the surrounding areas, especially historical ones that might lend them a clue. it was tiring work, but it gave them purpose.
malos strolled off to sell whatever they had stolen from indol and others while jin waiting near their ship. an old tornan ship that serves their purposes well, but hard to maintain and too noticeable. malos has the know-how to keep it in shape, but he's still only one person and jin lacked his capabilities. the answer was more crew, but how? and who.
it's those thoughts that occupied him as he waited. ]
[the decades had been a blur after Mikhail stopped keeping track after the third or fourth, his time spent moving between titans, stowing away on ships, picking up odd jobs here and there out of boredom rather than necessity. people are... people. and the Nopon are kind of terrible conversation partners, but they don't ask questions and they don't care that Mikhail doesn't talk about himself.
after a point, he even began smiling and laughing again.
he casually strolls up to Jin, the memory of him now blurred at the edges. that was a terribly long time ago. Mikhail isn't quite who he used to be anymore, anyway, not since Indol shoved that core crystal into his chest.]
Hey, I know you! [he stands before Jin, hands on his hips. his smile falters, but only for a brief flicker.] Remember me? Or do I need to jog your memory? If you still have it, anyway.
[ jin blinks, thrown off enough to reach for his sword before faltering. his eyes go wide. it's been years, perhaps a century or two. so how was it that mikhail was standing here? alive? jin feels his body shake at the very thought of it. ]
The one and only! [said loudly and with his arms spread wide. his mannerisms are too careless for someone who had learned early on to be discreet, but he no longer cares much for subtlety these days. Mikhail pays no mind to the few passerby who glance in their direction.
his arms drop back down to his sides. oops, this is awkward.]
... If I gotta be honest, I'm not really sure where to start. So, uh, how've you been?
I — [ jin doesn't even know where to start. her heart beats thunderously in his chest, putting pressure that nearly has him buckling. mikhail was alive and here. that's not possible. mikhail was a human. other than jin, there were no other survivors at spessia. so how?
he reaches out to grasp his shoulders, hands trembling. ]
[a part of him wants to brush off the question to gloat about how they're the same height now, or something stupid like that, if only because Mikhail hasn't felt this shaken in ages. the last time was... not long after he escaped Indol, and he had taken a moment to sit somewhere and grieve everyone who died.
he's so over mourning.]
Oh, you know. [again, he laughs, but the unease in his face is hard to miss.] Indol, the refugees from Spessia, some botched Core Crystal implants, yadda yadda. Well, in my case, they miraculously didn't botch it, so here I am. Wanna see?
[he tugs the collar of his shirt down to show a glimpse of his crystal.]
[ indol. the fury that courses through his veins, plunging the temperatures around them into a horrific, pervasive cold. of course it was indol. of course they would do this. and the humans there simply gave into amalthus' cruelty without a thought to anyone else, who did this to mikhail.
their end cannot come soon enough. his grip tightens around mikhail's shoulder as jin works to calm himself. once it abates, all he can feel is a gutrenching sorrow. he failed lora. he failed haze. he failed mikhail. and yet, jin gets to stand here. a failure.
he clasps mikhail tightly, pulling him closer. his hand comes to press against the collar, tugging it up. ]
Whoa, hey— [his hackles raise from the sudden flash of memories, of watching the others fight monsters from a safe distance with Milton at his side. he could feel the reach of Jin's freezing power from there, too. Milton would exclaim at his strength, at how strong all of them were.
he gingerly pats Jin's back as he pushes the memories back where they belong. safely tucked away, to avoid an unwanted trip down that lane.]
What're you apologizing for, Jin? If I actually suffered, you think I would've grown to be so dashingly handsome? [obnoxiously punchable grin and all...] I can tell that you've been through the wringer, though.
[Lora is dead. of that, he's completely certain, because he couldn't do anything when the Indoline soldiers wrenched Haze's Core Crystal out of his hands.]
[ his brow furrows at mikhail's . . . well, "joke" but it doesn't seem very funny. a smokescreen then. jin can't begrudge him that. oddly enough, it reminds him a little of the way malos jokes as well. if you laugh at yourself, no one else can laugh at you the same way.
he hesitates for a moment. ]
Not here. I'm waiting for someone but we can go back to our ship.
[ a pause, a touch uncertain. ]
That is, if you want to come with us.
[ though jin's not sure if he could let him just go. ]
[easily, he nods.] Sure, sure! It's not like I've got anywhere important to be.
[there's his current employer, a curmudgeonly Nopon merchant who hired him as security detail, but whatever. Mikhail tilts to glance behind Jin, at that old Tornan ship. it's so old that there probably aren't many people who'd recognize its origins, but it's also so old that the rest would assume it's scrap.
he's so aghast at the sight that he doesn't ask about that someone Jin is waiting for.]
[ jin has the ability to look a bit sheepish as he follows his gaze. he's never been one to manage technology really well. malos is the only reason it's still afloat. ]
[he nudges Jin with his elbow, knowing full well he won't laugh. but running into him like this, after all this time, after all these years assuming he'd also been stolen by Indol, makes Mikhail want to laugh in both joy and horror.
they're both still alive, in spite of everything. how about that?]
I'll take a look at it before we set off. [already, he easily slips into that we without a second thought.] Can't have our grand reunion getting cut short by a shipwreck, right?
[ a faint smile filters through, despite himself. he feels light. even her heart, that was so caught up in the shock of it all seems to have steadied itself. ]
That would be helpful. Mal — [ ah. hm. jin abruptly cuts himself off, uncharacteristically, looking askance for a moment. malos should be here soon. jin better explain that first.
still. this is awkward. back then, it hadn't mattered. everyone was gone. who was left to care that jin aligned himself with the aegis. he doesn't feel guilty, but he feels . . . uncertain. which is unfair to mikhail and malos. ]
You should know. The companion I'm with. It's the Aegis. Malos.
[that, of all things, renders Mikhail at a loss for words. he stares incredulously, a dozen responses passing over his tongue. that's a weird joke, Jin. where'd that sense of humor come from, Jin? you gotta work on your comedic timing, Jin.
he'd spent longer hating and blaming Indol, than stewing over what Malos had done to Torna. in a way, he'd nearly forgotten about Malos up until this moment.
[ yeah . . . yeah, he expected that. again, he's not ashamed but even jin can't help but shift on his feet at a loss before he can collect his own words. he does keep himself straight. of all the things jin has doubts on, malos is not one of them. the aegis has proven himself to jin. ]
He saved my life. Our goals are aligned.
[ another pause, but this time his voice is not uncertain at all. ]
I trust him. I won't ask you to, but you can trust me.
[somewhere, deep down, anger burns within Mikhail. but it's too stifled to continue burning, some barbed remarks about who's to blame for Milton's death fading away before he can say anything about it.
it wasn't like Malos had personally stabbed Milton. at a certain time with all the growing pains of being a newly-created Blade Eater, Mikhail had even retroactively blamed Mythra for not being strong enough.
seems like Indol had been hunting down the wrong Aegis all this time. he'll try to spin a joke out of it later.]
A common goal, huh. [he rubs the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.] What'd he do to win you over, grovel at your feet and promise to do better? C'mon, Jin. I didn't think you were that forgiving.
[ jin purses his lips. he's not in the habit of explaining himself and trying to explain malos was even trickier. it's hard to put into words what the man means to him. what he saved jin from. ]
I'm not. I can't say I have forgiven him for all of it.
[ though. perhaps he will, soon enough. that thought is terrifying too. how much of himself will slip away? but that's not malos' fault. jin lets out a quiet sigh. ]
But Malos, myself . . . and you. We deserved better from this world. We deserved better than what happened to us.
[there's nothing particularly accusatory in his voice, but Mikhail is frowning, like he'd been presented with a puzzle he can't solve.]
Because last I remember, he's part of the reason for all this— [he gestures to his chest.
but he knows it wasn't just Malos. he was a mere catalyst, only part of the reason, and Indol took advantage of the fallout to instate the Driver registration system. it's a creeping rot that's been spanning decades, compared to the brief combustion of the Aegis War.]
[ if he had, if he had ignored it, then perhaps jin wouldn't be standing by malos' side. though he also wouldn't be here. he'd still be seeped in his own misery, lost without her. malos gave him a reason to keep going. a hand in the rain. a lifeline in the dark.
jin's gaze flickers to mikhail's core. thinks of malos' shattered one. ]
What Indol did to us, it did to him too. His connection with Amalthus damned him. He never got to be. He never got to choose. He's like us.
[ jin places his hand upon his chest, listening to the sound of lora's heart. ]
[he's silent for a long moment and even taps his foot, glancing around at everything except Jin.]
You're still a real softy, Jin. [there could be more arguments there, to continue pinning Malos as the remorseless monster he appeared as over Auresco, but. it has been a long time. a lot of things have changed.]
Fine. I'll take your word for it. And I think I can guess what you did... since she's gone, but you remember everything. It's fine. You don't need to say anything, if it's gonna drag your mood down. I'm sure you've already talked about it with Malos, if you've been traveling with him.
[his eyes finally return to Jin. Mikhail flashes a lopsided, half-hearted grin.]
[ jin gives a soft huff with no small measure of relief. he knows his own argument on malos' behalf are weak and he suspects it'll be weaker still once mikhail actually meets malos. but it doesn't feel like it'll become a contentious issue. ]
My mistake. You have changed a lot.
[ the meek boy jin knew was gone. which is to be expected considering all he has experienced, but seeing this confident person instead, with shadows in his smile, still throws him off.
even so. he's alive. jin has never felt so grateful, so lucky to know that. ]
[Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. Or at least, he'll finally head over and announce himself, because he'd finished his business trading with the furballs, and had been watching their conversation from a distance. It's not often that Jin takes an interest in speaking at length with anyone, much less a human, and it's only when the Aegis gets closer and picks up the stranger's ether signature that he realises he's not quite human after all.
Still weird, but Jin must have his reasons. Malos isn't bothering to disguise his suspicions when he strolls up, though, offering a flippant:]
Hope I'm not interrupting this cosy chat. [Mikhail gets a once-over, then he looks to Jin with an obvious who the hell is this.] Making friends?
[ jin's gaze is still soft, still reeling from the presence of mikhail, from this strange bout of luck that has her heart beating. he gestures to the blade eater, making the introductions. ]
This is Mikhail. He'll be coming with us.
[ he pauses for a moment. this is harder than he thought it would be. malos knows his past utterly, but jin has never been comfortable speaking of it. ]
He was . . . a companion of Lora and myself. In Torna.
[the smile slides right off his face as he slowly turns to face Malos. he thinks... he should feel anger, or fear, or even hate, but the truth?
there's nothing. this is not the evil monster that their friends fought so hard to protect Torna from. that beast exists only in his blurred memories now, as a shadow he witnessed from a safe distance. to see Malos casually walk up in broad daylight, at this humble guild with nopon waddling around without a care in the world, contradicts that image of death and destruction.
but at the mention of Lora, he catches himself. what would Lora say, to all this? he can't really imagine it.]
Huh. You are alive. How 'bout that? [he returns the once-over, pushing his shoulders back like that would make him appear taller.]
... You definitely groveled at Jin's feet, didn't you?
[it's a joke to break the tension, but also a test, to see how Malos reacts to the provocation. Mikhail smirks at him.]
[Malos's reaction is impassive to Jin's information, but in his head, the cogs are turning. On the one hand, he's seen how much Jin has attached himself to a corpse to his detriment. This man will be another reminder of that past to weigh him down with unnecessary sentiment. He might even be an Indol spy chosen exactly because of his past, knowing how Amalthus' mind works. On the other hand, if he proves himself loyal and can make himself useful...
His thoughts are interrupted, and he sneers at Mikhail.]
Sure, the dirt off his boots tasted great. Is that what you'd like me to say?
[He knows someone trying to get a rise out of him when he sees it, probably because he'd have done the exact same, if their roles were reversed.]
Haha! Never knew you were this shameless, compared to the other Aegis. You're not nearly as pretty, though, now that I can finally get a closer look at your mug.
[he paces a couple steps in no particular direction, never taking his eyes off Malos. Mikhail did say he'd accept whatever Jin said, and he never held a personal grudge against Malos, but he wants to hear it firsthand.]
Tell me. Why the change of heart? How'd Jin win you over? [or was it the other way around?] It couldn't have just been his dazzling eyes.
[He's got a smart mouth on him, if nothing else, and Malos watches his every move. To the question, though, any quip of Malos's own is forgotten, and the smirk slides right off his face.]
Don't think that's my story to tell. [And he's not going to give some jokey fake answer, not about this. About that broken figure lost in the rain.] To cut a long story short, I was the one who approached him first. We're alike, and that gives us a shared axe to grind.
[ after a few minutes of this, jin steps in. he places a reassuring hand on malos' shoulder, squeezing it for a moment before letting go. his voice is firm, leaving no room for doubt. ]
As I said before, he saved my life. We're — [ and this time he hesitates. partners feels correct, but that's the word malos reserves exclusively for mythra. jin's not sure he supersedes that. ] — equals. I trust his judgement and he trusts mine.
[ and that's all there is to it. jin's not budging from this choice. he glances back at the monoceros. ]
I think we should take this back to the ship, if we're all done here. This is too public.
[ and the longer they remain out here, the longer someone will take notice of them. ]
[that brief gesture, easy and familiar between Jin and Malos, all but confirms it. Mikhail may not have the full story nor understand the full scope of it yet, but if Jin is alright with Malos, then... good enough. for now.
he brushes past them to turn his attention to the Monoceros, surveying it with his hands on his hips.]
Forget about the details, then. I'd rather focus on this travesty before me. That common goal you mentioned... you two aren't trying to kill yourselves by riding around in this heap of junk, are you?
[ jin is not so stoic that he can't quite help a wince at mikhail's wording. the promise they made is absolute and binding, hurtling them towards certain destruction. mikhail doesn't need to know that just yet. he turns his gaze to the monoceros as he leads the way, a pout on his face. ]
What, you don't feel secure boarding this rusty old antique with us?
[Malos bangs his fist on the hull and laughs. Unlike Jin, he's not exactly in denial the ship is in bad shape, as much as they'd tried their best to keep it running. But sink to the bottom of the cloud sea in flames once, and it kind of does a number on your sense of danger from thereon.]
If you have any suggestions, we're listening. [He nudges Jin. Stop pouting and go with it.]
There's second to none when it comes to Tornan engineering! ... Or, at least that's how it used to be.
[dramatically, he flings his palms against the hull with a resounding thud.]
Listen. Ships are like ladies. You gotta treat 'em with love and care. [that... unfortunately, is not one of Mikhail's sarcastic jokes. or it could be, considering how little he thinks of humans in general.] And I can tell that this one here's at least a hundred years overdue for some routine maintenance, at the very least. Have you even cleaned the hull? I'll talk you through retrofitting later. I bet even the bulkiest Ardainian carrier could outspeed this thing! Ugh!
[ it is still so . . . strange to hear mikhail talk like this. to talk this much at all. the passage of time is no stranger to jin, not after these centuries, but he still finds it tricky to reconcile mikhail with the shy, quiet child he once knew.
he glances at malos briefly, desperately hoping that malos knows what mikhail is talking about. then he turns back to mikhail. hopefully his words match his skill. he never would have claimed mikhail for idle boasting, but . . . he has changed. ]
Whatever you think is best.
[ to malos: ]
Take us out. Maybe close to an uninhabited Titans so we can do repairs. And . . . I'll bring Mikhail to see her.
[Fortunately Malos has enough technical knowledge to loosely follow Mikhail's explanation, and gives a nod and a grin to indicate as much. Though, if a ship is supposed to be treated like a lady, he has no idea what Mikhail will make of the macabre sight Jin is about to subject him to. He knows it's not his business, their mutual past together, so he simply goes on ahead to board the ship, waving a casual hand over his shoulder.]
Yeah, I got it. There's a good spot not too far from here, we can be there by sunset. In the meantime... [He glances back to Jin.] Take all the time you need. We're not in any hurry.
[That said, he disappears into the ship to get the engines started. He's not going to get in the way of this particular reunion, when the whole thing leaves a bad taste in his mouth.]
[ jin watches him go for a moment. malos never lingers too long near lora. he can understand why. but at the same time, he's never begrudged jin anything. what would mikhail think, he wonders. mikhail was close to her. despite the way he rebuffed her idea of family, he wanted to stay with her. no matter the dangers.
who would have thought a link to the past would feel so . . . tenuous. he should be happy and a part of him is at the sight of mikhail, but the grief of it all rises to meet him, an inexorably pull downwards.
he gives a quiet shake of his head as if to dislodge those thoughts. they're here now. that's what jin should focus on. he has promises to keep. ]
Mikhail. Come with me.
[ without waiting, jin turns his back and makes his way to the monoceros. down to the hold. where lora was waiting. ]
"Her"? You got a woman aboard? [he wants to make a teasing remark about it, but he can tell that this is a serious matter. something not to take lightly.
it goes against his current reflex to take everything lightly, but Mikhail will do the impossible and shut up as he follows Jin. for now, he purposely denies that faint sense of apprehension, walking with his hands folded behind his head. now and then he makes an offhand comment about how dusty or needlessly spacious the ship is, but he remains a couple paces behind Jin.]
[ jin doesn't answer his question. each step feels more foreboding than the last, with nothing else to fill the space. there's nothing strange about that. this is jin after all. he is a man of few words.
finally, they arrive at the hold. there's only a few core crystals lining the walls, a testament of the bitter few victories malos and jin have had against indol. they glow a soft blue at his arrival and jin lets their voices wash over him for a moment. then his gaze travels to the centre of the hold. where lora is.
encased in ice, as if she's sleeping, there lies jin's last driver. he turns to face mikhail, standing beside the tomb of ice and finally removes his mask to reveal his blood red crystal seated on his forehead. ]
[Mikhail stops in his tracks the moment he sees what— who is inside the ice. his expression is blank only for a pause, before it crumples in recognition. his steps are hurried now, as he approaches Lora.
he had some vague inkling about the situation after confirming that Jin remembered everything. he'd learned about the taboo during his time in Indol, listening to the guards talk to each other. but... she's frozen so perfectly, not a hair out of place, like she's seconds away from emerging and yawning with a tired good morning.
that old, buried grief makes an attempt to rush upward, but Mikhail swallows it down. he turns around to stare at Jin's tainted core crystal, one hand raised to touch the ice, but not quite meeting it.]
... I see. Thanks for not letting her go, Jin.
[that's his deep selfishness speaking, because Mikhail wouldn't have done something so drastic if he were in Jin's position, but he can't stand the thought of Lora disappearing from the world, either.
even if all of this isn't what Lora would have wanted.]
[ something in jin's expression seemingly crumples at those words. for a moment, his arm twitches as if he wishes to treat out and grab mikhail's hand.
he had let her go. if only for a second, he lost his hold on her hand and she had taken the blow for him. because that's how lora was. it didn't matter that he was a Blade and she was a human. they were the same.
and that makes it jin's failure. he failed lora. he failed haze. he failed mikhail.
he wonders how long it'll take malos to realize that. when the time comes, how will jin fail him too?
perhaps he wasn't made to hold anyone's hand. perhaps that's why he keeps losing, over and over. that is who he was meant to be, as a Blade. ]
I would have held onto all of you if I could.
[ in the end, all he could manage . . . was a hold on his own pitiful life. ]
Hey, hey. Why does it sound like you're blaming yourself? Don't do that.
[the words might sound like an attempt at comfort, but Mikhail's voice is cold. in place of the sorrow he might have felt if he didn't deny himself that feeling, there's nothing else but misplaced anger.
but not toward Jin. Mikhail could never blame him for any of it, when Jin is the last remnant of what Mikhail considered to be the happiest time of his life. the hand that was close to the ice instead lands on Jin's shoulder. that, at least, is an actual attempt at comfort.]
Man... I'm not so good at this. At least that part of me hasn't changed much, huh? [a dry laugh.] You know, I still remember something Milton said to me once, even after all this time. When something's important, you can't let it slip away. Otherwise you just regret it forever.
[ maybe they're all holding onto something. lora certainly wanted to hold onto jin a little longer. they both wanted to keep walking. keep going. down a road that had still seemed so hopeful. surely, someday.
now he walks a different path with lora's heart. he walks it with malos. and he'll walk it with mikhail, if mikhail will have him. he reaches out to grip his hand in solidarity. ]
Maybe when the time comes, I'll know what to do.
[ but deep down, jin knows . . . he'll never be truly be free of her. he couldn't even fathom it. not when he sees her in dreams. in his waking moments. a flash of her hair. the ghost of her walk. the sorrow in his wake. ]
Right now . . . I have a different path. Malos and I are going to stop Indol. And then go to Elysium.
[in the big picture, his time with Lora and Milton and everyone else was barely a blip in his current lifespan. but it stands out sharp, contrasting with the memories of his time in Indol and then the long, meaningless blur afterwards.
he's not one to reminisce. this is the first time in decades that Mikhail had thought this much about the past. for better or worse, he's also remembering his grudge against the world along with those words of encouragement from Milton.
those from Estham who sold him off. the people who destroyed Porton Village. the Indolines. and then everyone else, for allowing Amalthus to dictate the direction things went in after they wrote stories about the Great Hero Addam.]
Okay, I'm in. [said as casually as anything. but he isn't laughing this time.] To be honest, before I found you, I was just playing things by ear. I didn't have any real purpose in mind. But since you do... I wanna help you out. This time, I can actually help.
[instead of spectating from the back as a helpless child.]
[ that was very quick, but jin doesn't find that surprising. considering what they've gone through, the state of the world and everything that's happened . . . he knew if anyone would understand that, it would be mikhail. still, he does feel relieved all the same. lora . . . would have been happy. their path may still be painful, but at the very least, jin will watch out for mikhail. that's what she would want. the steady thump of her heart reassures him. ]
[as if relieved that he's been given an opportunity to go back to his theatrics, Mikhail throws his head back with an exaggerated groan. he's not actually apprehensive at the idea of getting to know Malos, but he can't imagine it'd be all pleasantries. at least his social skills and confidence had bloomed over the years.]
I'm still trying to wrap my head around it! You and Malos on the same boat both figuratively and literally, that is.
[his expression falters.]
When you said that he never got to choose his own path. What did destroying Torna mean to him, then? Or is that something I should ask him directly?
[ jin frowns, mostly to himself than in response to mikhail's query. ]
You could ask. He won't deny his responsibility.
What I meant was . . . his connection to Amalthus still resonates. What Amalthus wants, what drives him . . . drives Malos too. He can't tell what stems from himself and what stems from him.
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malos strolled off to sell whatever they had stolen from indol and others while jin waiting near their ship. an old tornan ship that serves their purposes well, but hard to maintain and too noticeable. malos has the know-how to keep it in shape, but he's still only one person and jin lacked his capabilities. the answer was more crew, but how? and who.
it's those thoughts that occupied him as he waited. ]
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after a point, he even began smiling and laughing again.
he casually strolls up to Jin, the memory of him now blurred at the edges. that was a terribly long time ago. Mikhail isn't quite who he used to be anymore, anyway, not since Indol shoved that core crystal into his chest.]
Hey, I know you! [he stands before Jin, hands on his hips. his smile falters, but only for a brief flicker.] Remember me? Or do I need to jog your memory? If you still have it, anyway.
[he chuckles to himself.]
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M — Mikhail?
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his arms drop back down to his sides. oops, this is awkward.]
... If I gotta be honest, I'm not really sure where to start. So, uh, how've you been?
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he reaches out to grasp his shoulders, hands trembling. ]
How are you here? What happened to you?
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he's so over mourning.]
Oh, you know. [again, he laughs, but the unease in his face is hard to miss.] Indol, the refugees from Spessia, some botched Core Crystal implants, yadda yadda. Well, in my case, they miraculously didn't botch it, so here I am. Wanna see?
[he tugs the collar of his shirt down to show a glimpse of his crystal.]
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their end cannot come soon enough. his grip tightens around mikhail's shoulder as jin works to calm himself. once it abates, all he can feel is a gutrenching sorrow. he failed lora. he failed haze. he failed mikhail. and yet, jin gets to stand here. a failure.
he clasps mikhail tightly, pulling him closer. his hand comes to press against the collar, tugging it up. ]
I don't need to see that you have suffered.
I'm sorry.
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he gingerly pats Jin's back as he pushes the memories back where they belong. safely tucked away, to avoid an unwanted trip down that lane.]
What're you apologizing for, Jin? If I actually suffered, you think I would've grown to be so dashingly handsome? [obnoxiously punchable grin and all...] I can tell that you've been through the wringer, though.
[Lora is dead. of that, he's completely certain, because he couldn't do anything when the Indoline soldiers wrenched Haze's Core Crystal out of his hands.]
... You wanna talk about it, or?
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he hesitates for a moment. ]
Not here. I'm waiting for someone but we can go back to our ship.
[ a pause, a touch uncertain. ]
That is, if you want to come with us.
[ though jin's not sure if he could let him just go. ]
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[there's his current employer, a curmudgeonly Nopon merchant who hired him as security detail, but whatever. Mikhail tilts to glance behind Jin, at that old Tornan ship. it's so old that there probably aren't many people who'd recognize its origins, but it's also so old that the rest would assume it's scrap.
he's so aghast at the sight that he doesn't ask about that someone Jin is waiting for.]
But, please don't tell me that's your ship.
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It's . . . not in the best shape.
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[he nudges Jin with his elbow, knowing full well he won't laugh. but running into him like this, after all this time, after all these years assuming he'd also been stolen by Indol, makes Mikhail want to laugh in both joy and horror.
they're both still alive, in spite of everything. how about that?]
I'll take a look at it before we set off. [already, he easily slips into that we without a second thought.] Can't have our grand reunion getting cut short by a shipwreck, right?
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That would be helpful. Mal — [ ah. hm. jin abruptly cuts himself off, uncharacteristically, looking askance for a moment. malos should be here soon. jin better explain that first.
still. this is awkward. back then, it hadn't mattered. everyone was gone. who was left to care that jin aligned himself with the aegis. he doesn't feel guilty, but he feels . . . uncertain. which is unfair to mikhail and malos. ]
You should know. The companion I'm with. It's the Aegis. Malos.
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he'd spent longer hating and blaming Indol, than stewing over what Malos had done to Torna. in a way, he'd nearly forgotten about Malos up until this moment.
one brow goes way up.]
... Him?
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He saved my life. Our goals are aligned.
[ another pause, but this time his voice is not uncertain at all. ]
I trust him. I won't ask you to, but you can trust me.
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it wasn't like Malos had personally stabbed Milton. at a certain time with all the growing pains of being a newly-created Blade Eater, Mikhail had even retroactively blamed Mythra for not being strong enough.
seems like Indol had been hunting down the wrong Aegis all this time. he'll try to spin a joke out of it later.]
A common goal, huh. [he rubs the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.] What'd he do to win you over, grovel at your feet and promise to do better? C'mon, Jin. I didn't think you were that forgiving.
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I'm not. I can't say I have forgiven him for all of it.
[ though. perhaps he will, soon enough. that thought is terrifying too. how much of himself will slip away? but that's not malos' fault. jin lets out a quiet sigh. ]
But Malos, myself . . . and you. We deserved better from this world. We deserved better than what happened to us.
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[there's nothing particularly accusatory in his voice, but Mikhail is frowning, like he'd been presented with a puzzle he can't solve.]
Because last I remember, he's part of the reason for all this— [he gestures to his chest.
but he knows it wasn't just Malos. he was a mere catalyst, only part of the reason, and Indol took advantage of the fallout to instate the Driver registration system. it's a creeping rot that's been spanning decades, compared to the brief combustion of the Aegis War.]
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[ if he had, if he had ignored it, then perhaps jin wouldn't be standing by malos' side. though he also wouldn't be here. he'd still be seeped in his own misery, lost without her. malos gave him a reason to keep going. a hand in the rain. a lifeline in the dark.
jin's gaze flickers to mikhail's core. thinks of malos' shattered one. ]
What Indol did to us, it did to him too. His connection with Amalthus damned him. He never got to be. He never got to choose. He's like us.
[ jin places his hand upon his chest, listening to the sound of lora's heart. ]
Warped.
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You're still a real softy, Jin. [there could be more arguments there, to continue pinning Malos as the remorseless monster he appeared as over Auresco, but. it has been a long time. a lot of things have changed.]
Fine. I'll take your word for it. And I think I can guess what you did... since she's gone, but you remember everything. It's fine. You don't need to say anything, if it's gonna drag your mood down. I'm sure you've already talked about it with Malos, if you've been traveling with him.
[his eyes finally return to Jin. Mikhail flashes a lopsided, half-hearted grin.]
But who d'you think you're calling warped?
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My mistake. You have changed a lot.
[ the meek boy jin knew was gone. which is to be expected considering all he has experienced, but seeing this confident person instead, with shadows in his smile, still throws him off.
even so. he's alive. jin has never felt so grateful, so lucky to know that. ]
I'm just glad we got to meet.
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Still weird, but Jin must have his reasons. Malos isn't bothering to disguise his suspicions when he strolls up, though, offering a flippant:]
Hope I'm not interrupting this cosy chat. [Mikhail gets a once-over, then he looks to Jin with an obvious who the hell is this.] Making friends?
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[ jin's gaze is still soft, still reeling from the presence of mikhail, from this strange bout of luck that has her heart beating. he gestures to the blade eater, making the introductions. ]
This is Mikhail. He'll be coming with us.
[ he pauses for a moment. this is harder than he thought it would be. malos knows his past utterly, but jin has never been comfortable speaking of it. ]
He was . . . a companion of Lora and myself. In Torna.
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there's nothing. this is not the evil monster that their friends fought so hard to protect Torna from. that beast exists only in his blurred memories now, as a shadow he witnessed from a safe distance. to see Malos casually walk up in broad daylight, at this humble guild with nopon waddling around without a care in the world, contradicts that image of death and destruction.
but at the mention of Lora, he catches himself. what would Lora say, to all this? he can't really imagine it.]
Huh. You are alive. How 'bout that? [he returns the once-over, pushing his shoulders back like that would make him appear taller.]
... You definitely groveled at Jin's feet, didn't you?
[it's a joke to break the tension, but also a test, to see how Malos reacts to the provocation. Mikhail smirks at him.]
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His thoughts are interrupted, and he sneers at Mikhail.]
Sure, the dirt off his boots tasted great. Is that what you'd like me to say?
[He knows someone trying to get a rise out of him when he sees it, probably because he'd have done the exact same, if their roles were reversed.]
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[he paces a couple steps in no particular direction, never taking his eyes off Malos. Mikhail did say he'd accept whatever Jin said, and he never held a personal grudge against Malos, but he wants to hear it firsthand.]
Tell me. Why the change of heart? How'd Jin win you over? [or was it the other way around?] It couldn't have just been his dazzling eyes.
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Don't think that's my story to tell. [And he's not going to give some jokey fake answer, not about this. About that broken figure lost in the rain.] To cut a long story short, I was the one who approached him first. We're alike, and that gives us a shared axe to grind.
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As I said before, he saved my life. We're — [ and this time he hesitates. partners feels correct, but that's the word malos reserves exclusively for mythra. jin's not sure he supersedes that. ] — equals. I trust his judgement and he trusts mine.
[ and that's all there is to it. jin's not budging from this choice. he glances back at the monoceros. ]
I think we should take this back to the ship, if we're all done here. This is too public.
[ and the longer they remain out here, the longer someone will take notice of them. ]
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[that brief gesture, easy and familiar between Jin and Malos, all but confirms it. Mikhail may not have the full story nor understand the full scope of it yet, but if Jin is alright with Malos, then... good enough. for now.
he brushes past them to turn his attention to the Monoceros, surveying it with his hands on his hips.]
Forget about the details, then. I'd rather focus on this travesty before me. That common goal you mentioned... you two aren't trying to kill yourselves by riding around in this heap of junk, are you?
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We haven't done that bad a job . . .
[ probably. surely. ]
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[Malos bangs his fist on the hull and laughs. Unlike Jin, he's not exactly in denial the ship is in bad shape, as much as they'd tried their best to keep it running. But sink to the bottom of the cloud sea in flames once, and it kind of does a number on your sense of danger from thereon.]
If you have any suggestions, we're listening. [He nudges Jin. Stop pouting and go with it.]
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[dramatically, he flings his palms against the hull with a resounding thud.]
Listen. Ships are like ladies. You gotta treat 'em with love and care. [that... unfortunately, is not one of Mikhail's sarcastic jokes. or it could be, considering how little he thinks of humans in general.] And I can tell that this one here's at least a hundred years overdue for some routine maintenance, at the very least. Have you even cleaned the hull? I'll talk you through retrofitting later. I bet even the bulkiest Ardainian carrier could outspeed this thing! Ugh!
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he glances at malos briefly, desperately hoping that malos knows what mikhail is talking about. then he turns back to mikhail. hopefully his words match his skill. he never would have claimed mikhail for idle boasting, but . . . he has changed. ]
Whatever you think is best.
[ to malos: ]
Take us out. Maybe close to an uninhabited Titans so we can do repairs. And . . . I'll bring Mikhail to see her.
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Yeah, I got it. There's a good spot not too far from here, we can be there by sunset. In the meantime... [He glances back to Jin.] Take all the time you need. We're not in any hurry.
[That said, he disappears into the ship to get the engines started. He's not going to get in the way of this particular reunion, when the whole thing leaves a bad taste in his mouth.]
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who would have thought a link to the past would feel so . . . tenuous. he should be happy and a part of him is at the sight of mikhail, but the grief of it all rises to meet him, an inexorably pull downwards.
he gives a quiet shake of his head as if to dislodge those thoughts. they're here now. that's what jin should focus on. he has promises to keep. ]
Mikhail. Come with me.
[ without waiting, jin turns his back and makes his way to the monoceros. down to the hold. where lora was waiting. ]
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it goes against his current reflex to take everything lightly, but Mikhail will do the impossible and shut up as he follows Jin. for now, he purposely denies that faint sense of apprehension, walking with his hands folded behind his head. now and then he makes an offhand comment about how dusty or needlessly spacious the ship is, but he remains a couple paces behind Jin.]
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finally, they arrive at the hold. there's only a few core crystals lining the walls, a testament of the bitter few victories malos and jin have had against indol. they glow a soft blue at his arrival and jin lets their voices wash over him for a moment. then his gaze travels to the centre of the hold. where lora is.
encased in ice, as if she's sleeping, there lies jin's last driver. he turns to face mikhail, standing beside the tomb of ice and finally removes his mask to reveal his blood red crystal seated on his forehead. ]
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he had some vague inkling about the situation after confirming that Jin remembered everything. he'd learned about the taboo during his time in Indol, listening to the guards talk to each other. but... she's frozen so perfectly, not a hair out of place, like she's seconds away from emerging and yawning with a tired good morning.
that old, buried grief makes an attempt to rush upward, but Mikhail swallows it down. he turns around to stare at Jin's tainted core crystal, one hand raised to touch the ice, but not quite meeting it.]
... I see. Thanks for not letting her go, Jin.
[that's his deep selfishness speaking, because Mikhail wouldn't have done something so drastic if he were in Jin's position, but he can't stand the thought of Lora disappearing from the world, either.
even if all of this isn't what Lora would have wanted.]
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he had let her go. if only for a second, he lost his hold on her hand and she had taken the blow for him. because that's how lora was. it didn't matter that he was a Blade and she was a human. they were the same.
and that makes it jin's failure. he failed lora. he failed haze. he failed mikhail.
he wonders how long it'll take malos to realize that. when the time comes, how will jin fail him too?
perhaps he wasn't made to hold anyone's hand. perhaps that's why he keeps losing, over and over. that is who he was meant to be, as a Blade. ]
I would have held onto all of you if I could.
[ in the end, all he could manage . . . was a hold on his own pitiful life. ]
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[the words might sound like an attempt at comfort, but Mikhail's voice is cold. in place of the sorrow he might have felt if he didn't deny himself that feeling, there's nothing else but misplaced anger.
but not toward Jin. Mikhail could never blame him for any of it, when Jin is the last remnant of what Mikhail considered to be the happiest time of his life. the hand that was close to the ice instead lands on Jin's shoulder. that, at least, is an actual attempt at comfort.]
Man... I'm not so good at this. At least that part of me hasn't changed much, huh? [a dry laugh.] You know, I still remember something Milton said to me once, even after all this time. When something's important, you can't let it slip away. Otherwise you just regret it forever.
Dunno. Seeing Lora reminded me, I guess.
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now he walks a different path with lora's heart. he walks it with malos. and he'll walk it with mikhail, if mikhail will have him. he reaches out to grip his hand in solidarity. ]
Maybe when the time comes, I'll know what to do.
[ but deep down, jin knows . . . he'll never be truly be free of her. he couldn't even fathom it. not when he sees her in dreams. in his waking moments. a flash of her hair. the ghost of her walk. the sorrow in his wake. ]
Right now . . . I have a different path. Malos and I are going to stop Indol. And then go to Elysium.
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he's not one to reminisce. this is the first time in decades that Mikhail had thought this much about the past. for better or worse, he's also remembering his grudge against the world along with those words of encouragement from Milton.
those from Estham who sold him off. the people who destroyed Porton Village. the Indolines. and then everyone else, for allowing Amalthus to dictate the direction things went in after they wrote stories about the Great Hero Addam.]
Okay, I'm in. [said as casually as anything. but he isn't laughing this time.] To be honest, before I found you, I was just playing things by ear. I didn't have any real purpose in mind. But since you do... I wanna help you out. This time, I can actually help.
[instead of spectating from the back as a helpless child.]
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Help us fix this ship. That'll be a good start.
[ a beat. ]
And you should get to know Malos too.
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I'm still trying to wrap my head around it! You and Malos on the same boat both figuratively and literally, that is.
[his expression falters.]
When you said that he never got to choose his own path. What did destroying Torna mean to him, then? Or is that something I should ask him directly?
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You could ask. He won't deny his responsibility.
What I meant was . . . his connection to Amalthus still resonates. What Amalthus wants, what drives him . . . drives Malos too. He can't tell what stems from himself and what stems from him.