( PSL ) STEVE AND LOKI

[dothelokimotion]

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AU WHERE BUCKY IS GONE AND LOKI IS HERE??

[dothelokimotion]

[ it was a difficult life. trying to scavenge and make most of battered ships and a battered world. loki is no stranger to hardship but to be trapped in this situation once more is galling. he wished he didn't restrain wrangling those atroma puppets. he blames vash.

but for now, it is better to be productive than to seethe. he tidies up his room with a sigh, a nostalgic pang echoing in his heart. while some of his connections remain here, loki still feels lonely. alone. ]

Oh noeeez

[brooklyn_boy]

[Routine is the best thing, at this point. Routine and just working as hard as possible to keep his mind busy. Steve has a habit when it comes to grief and this is the size of it. He doesn't even sleep more that around four hours a night. What is it going to do, kill him? Unlikely.

At least he still has some friends. Good friends. It has been a lifeline when he needed it most.

He makes it part of the routine to check in on Loki half to just see him and half to make sure something else he loved didn't disappear. He knocks on the frame of the door in an unnecessary, cheerful rhythm.]

Hey. Settling alright?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki blinks, turning his attention away from his work. ]

It will do. At the very least, I have magic to . . . brighten this place up.

[ that's one thing that can be said for illusions. they make aspects of reality bearable. ]

[brooklyn_boy]

[ He tries to hide a smirk and fails ]

Gonna put add some Stitch? Maybe a fun, live one to run around?

[dothelokimotion]

[ his nose wrinkles at that. ]

Maintaining that kind of illusion indefinitely would take a great deal of my strength.

[brooklyn_boy]

Maybe just for special occasions, then?

[ He moves into the room to perch on the edge of the nearest piece of reliable furniture. ]

Billy's powers are pretty similar to yours. Maybe we could ask him. Or at least get some colored pencils and paper so I can draw another.

[dothelokimotion]

Perhaps

[ loki isn't sure if he wants someone else's powers fiddling with his room. ]

Let me get settled first before I put up pictures of blue aliens.

[brooklyn_boy]

No rush. I probably need to practice a bit before it is even passable. Been awhile.

[ Steve watches quietly as Loki moves around. ]

Did you need help with anything? Supplies? Or...Anything?

[ Anything to keep him busy. ]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki gives him a long look. ]

I'll manage. Though I get the feeling you're not managing as well as you look.

[brooklyn_boy]

[ Steve's gaze turns sharp for a second before cutting away toward the door. ]

I'm fine. There's a lot to do around here so I am just making sure to stay useful where I can.

[dothelokimotion]

Ah. Staying useful so you can stop thinking about him. Very productive.

[brooklyn_boy]

[ Okay. Steve isn't quite as alright getting called out so blatantly. He shoots Loki a look.]

Or staying useful so that everyone survives, here. It's not the first time I've lost him, you know.

[ Even though it kind of is. ]

I'm fine.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki leans in . . .

. . . and taps steve on the nose with his index finger. ]

And you're still a terrible liar.

Are you kidding me? That is fucking cute.

[brooklyn_boy]

[ Okay. He wasn't expecting that. ]

I'm not lying. [He lies.]

Besides, there is nothing wrong with staying busy.

boop

[dothelokimotion]

Yes there is.

It's called denial.

[brooklyn_boy]

I am not in denial.

[ Steve stands and folds his hands over his chest. ]

Do you seriously think that I am just pretending nothing happened?

[dothelokimotion]

Yes.

[ point blank, shots fired. ]

You are denying the weight of the loss by distracting yourself from it. You are denying that it matters by making your actions matter more. Denial is not simply ignorance. It is aversion, escapism. It keeps you running

[brooklyn_boy]

[ Steve turns away from Loki and curls in on himself around the shoulders. ]

Leave it alone, Lok. I already told you, I've done this before and have gotten by. There's no point in dwelling.

[dothelokimotion]

[ says the man dwelling. still, loki isn't completely heartless. ]

Gotten where, Steve?

[brooklyn_boy]

[ He's never been asked that question before. It's an expression but he is sure Loki knows that. The question goes beyond the simple words and asks Steve something he's never examined.

His head turns toward Loki but he doesn't look at him. He doesn't turn around. Every muscle along his shoulders tense up.]

Forward.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki gives a dry chuckle. ]

You don't even know what that looks like.

[brooklyn_boy]

[ That finally gets Steve to turn around. ]

Is there a point to this? Something you want?

[dothelokimotion]

Why do I need to want anything?

[ loki trails a finger over the wall, making a face at the dust it collects. he rubs it between two fingers before glancing at steve. ]

It is just a truth, Steve. Nothing more.

[brooklyn_boy]

Then what's the point in this 'truth'? I know you didn't like him so I am sure you're not looking to talk about it with me. What is the point in having me wallow?

[ He shakes his head as though getting tired. ]

I'm dealing with it my way. It works for me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his eyes flash. ]

I may not have liked him, but I kept it to myself. I did not disrespect him upon our first meeting, he did. When he learned of Thanos, he wanted to perform my guilt to prove I was worth something. As if my suffering is coin for his understanding. And I said not a word of it to you or to anyone else.

And this has never worked for you. Trapped in your past, constantly mourning what was. Forward?

[ loki moves closer with a hiss. ]

You don't know the meaning of the word and I pity your friends who let you live with this self-delusion. If you want to pretend it means nothing, then do so. But don't putter around my room with your pretense. I deserve better.