QUINN AND CRANE VS ARKHAM CAFETERIA MEATLOAF: ROUND 1

[hench_wench]

[Clatters her tray down on the table next to his.]

Hiya, Professor!

Comments

[fears]

Hello, child.

[picking at his food eeugh] Come to eat the daily gruel?

[hench_wench]

[Wastes no time making "art" out of what has a 70% chance of being instant mashed potatoes.]

I got moved to second lunch block on account a' Mistah J got moved to third, but Red is in first, and I lost a whole buncha privileges yesterday so they don't trust me so much right now. But now I get to sit with you! Yay!

[fears]

What a scintillating reason. Though, I do feel like asking, what exactly did you do?

[hench_wench]

Y'know that orderly that gets too handsy on pat downs? Well, maybe not with you, but anyway long story short now he doesn't have thumbs.

[fears]

What a pity. I'm sure they'll be missed by him.

[scooping some meat ... loaf ... stuff] He should know better. But they never do, do they? They never stop to think.

[hench_wench]

Right, right. Exactly. But they'll never learn if we don't teach them.

[fears]

[*~teaching~*]

I highly doubt anyone here is capable of absorbing any kind of knowledge.

[hench_wench]

[Her meal is turning into a passable likeness of the Joker. Steals the mushy peas off his plate to finish the hair.]

Now, Professor, what kind of attitude is that to have?

[fears]

Don't try and lecture me, Harley.

[hench_wench]

I can't help it if I'm a firm believer in the power of positive thinking!

[fears]

Indeed you are, child.

But I prefer an environment that facilitates learning, not one that exterminates it before it reaches any hope of potential.

[hench_wench]

[scoops out Joker's eye and chews it thoughtfully]

Blow out the serving station and this could make an okay lecture hall.

[fears]

With what, precisely?

[hench_wench]

Firefly got brought in on Tuesday. You know they pulled something good off that guy.

[fears]

Now there's a thought. It's about time someone put that man into doing something useful for society.

[hench_wench]

Boo, society. He can do something useful for us. That's way better.

[fears]

[put-out sigh]

That is what I meant, Harley.

[hench_wench]

Oh! Our society! You know I don't follow metaphors.

[fears]

And yet, I soldier on. I trust you can break into the cabinet like you broke that orderly's fingers?

[hench_wench]

No, it's a totally different process.

[fears]

Metaphor, child. We'll train you to recognize them soon enough.

[hench_wench]

Orrrr you could talk plain?

[fears]

And work my way down to the neanderthals? I think not.

[hench_wench]

You callin' me a neanderthal?

[fears]

Of course not, child.